Moonlight Dwelling

Yanks In The UK

Sit in the back during the boring lecture so you can nap.

Don't rely on pure logic to avoid becoming a sidekick to a serial killer that eats people.

It wasn't that I was bored. Mostly it was just that I was tired okay. The boobies took me out for a beer last night. Booth

After a night out with the boobies a guy's gonna be tired the next day.

Wonder, fantastic, and sublime means the guy wants to sleep with ou along with the shapeless robe being referred to as evocative.

I'm keen as ketchup. Brennan

It would be keen as mustard not that mustard makes any more sense than ketchup.

Smart people are much the same even with the accent.

British slime so much more proper than American slime. Jack

You wouldn't believe what my hotel gave me for breakfast. It was like this brown goo and some kind of meat. I think it was a sausage about the size of my finger. Booth

A brave person stays at the Beefeater Hotel Motel.

The Duke of Something Hotel comes with a buffet.

The weak coffee is most likely tea when you're in England.

Check your diary to see if you murdered anyone lately.

A shrink is supposed to be the helpful one not an ass with the mocking and laughing.

Getting drunk and jumping over a broom does not a love match make.

Go with a way if you're in awe over the some kind of God guy.

Bells are supposed to ring during Shark Week Festival Of Bells.

Violence is really something that you can't move away from.

Make sure there isn't any confusion when renting a car since they might give you an Austin instead of an Aston.

In England they drive on the left side of the road which can lead to some confusion.

Stewing can lead to catching supsects in a lie.

No, no turning right on a red here is the equivalent of turning left into the wrong lane on a red at home.

In England it is against the law to turn right on a red light.

Just wait until the traffic thins to get going again.

In England they don't grasp the concept of making a cup of black coffee.

A grown man is going to need help getting out of the tiny car.

You're doing good when the Brits start commenting on you to each other.

It's polite to offer refreshments to guests.

Go with Sam Black Tea if you're a fan of coffee and want to drink something strong.

Dude don't even bother taking off your coat in an attempt to help since you'll just end up falling flat on your face.

It isn't nice to pick up a guy and toss him into a garbage truck.

In England they wear silly wigs in court.

While in England enjoy some good British beer.

Listen to the one that's good at reading people.

A person can become agitated when forced to drive a tiny car where people drive on the wrong side of the road.

I see that lorry. It's a truck okay. We're American and that's a truck. Booth

I'm Mr. Adaptable okay the mirrors are the size of a thumbnail. Booth

What do you expect when you rent a car the size of your thumb? Brennan

I'll take your romantic advice under advisement. Brennan

A mother that knows she's dying will write letters for her daughter's important birthdays.

A good rule of thumb would be to not use the word arborist just say gardener.

Some people enjoy a convoluted story with their hot beverage.

Listen when the universe speaks.

When backup hasn't been called it's time to pull out your gun.

I want a gun. I'm a very good shot and I've killed before. Brennan

Put the weapon away when you're going with a bluff.

When a letter is written on a person's deathbed that means big doings.

In a polite country the suspect is requested to come to Scotland Yard.

Things are very different in England since the butler just might have done it or at least confessed to the murder.

Ya know I do have a gun in England and I've been really dying to use it. Booth

Don't forget to eat.

Save the talk about orgiastic potency for later.

Some people don't want to be included in everything.

Earth-shattering and breakfast? I can die a happy woman. Cam

Some people would like a title as acknowledgment of achievements.

Remember there are two meanings for get off.

Clearing the air is for the best.

Can I touch the brain just once as a reward? Sweets

Duh of course the brain is squishy.

Don't go around touching the brain without permission.

If you don't know what the word means ask to have it translated into American.

Headbutts would fall into the category of ouch.

Come clean with your friend about sleeping with her newly ex husband.

The British can be really rude jerks not to mention the weird words and spelling.

Don't go around headbutting people since you might find yourself on your ass.

You could get arrested if you interfere with one of the Queen's guards.

Why is everybody headbutting everybody around here? What's wrong with a good sock to the jaw? Booth

There might be a few issues needing to be worked out.

Let the guy take take a cab to the airport so you don't end up sleeping with the guy.

I am sorry for being so cranky which is my basic personality so it seems stupid to apologize to I apologize. Jack

I'm not saying that we should have a King or a Queen or beheading an all that jazz. I'm just saying ya know calling someone like uh Sir Seeley Booth now that is civilized. Booth

Live by the bone. Die by the bone. Booth

Nobody just kills somebody with a bone symbolically not even in England. Booth

Use the guy's name instead of calling him a small, angry man.

The Man In The Outhouse

You're gonna have have to go after drinking a gallon of coffee.

When you really need to peek look for the nearest outhouse.

Don't light up before going into the outhouse to avoid getting blown up.

Roll when you find your ass on fire.

Bring coffee when you come to a person's place at 6:30 in the morning.

The bedhead might actually be sexhead instead.

A deep sea welder can hold his breath for three minutes down there.

Most people don't want to talk about fecal matter.

Don't mention that to the guy who almost got his ass blown off. Booth

Nothing says rage like killing a guy and dumping him in a pit of poop.

The suit isn't so cool after you sneeze while wearing it.

Don't say you like the smell of poo because it won't impress anyone just make them question your sanity.

Arguments as a rule tend to be loud.

Nothing says weird like liking the accordion.

You mightw ant to keep a little mystery about yourself.  Cam

Nothing says serious impulse issues like punching someone in the face.

When all else fails go with a stalker.

You find the strangest things in outhouse sludge.

Intellectual pursuit does have limits.

Produce section road rage is a long way from shooting a man dead. Jack

There's no need to take off the pants if you're just there to warn the girl about it being dangerous meeting someone online along with flowers.

You really got to learn some girl talk sweetie. Angela

Bloodshot eyes and wood in a pill. Party time. Angela

Hero worship exposes a lack of independent intellectual examination. Brennan

Go wtih a Tantric Sex Workshop to extend your orgasms.

Make sure to phrase the question clearly.

Okay, so somebody with a Thrush Infection scratched him with something metal and then licked him? Jack

It is unlikely that someone small could upend an 180 pound man into a poop pit.

Dating two guys can get tricky when you plan dates with both dates at the same time.

Use the coupons for dinner.

The Finger In The Tree

Don't knock down a bird's nest since it isn't nice to destroy someone's home.

Body parts in park, mystery needs solving. Cam

Don't have the shrink talk to your kid who found a human finger.

Dog trainers reward dogs with freeze dried bull penis.

May I hold your dog while you cry? Brennan

I wasn't looking for saliva. I found it. Jack

Nothing says killer dog like a dog with filed teeth.

When you're so high you can be taken down by a florist.

You might just feel better after finding out that the cranky man treats everyone like crap.

When you're in the country wait in the car until someone comes especially when there are scary, barking dogs around.

Less paranoid and less vain. Again sounds like a good thing. Jack

I'd rather drive a motorcycle full speed into a bridge abutment. Jack

No I'm more homicidal by nature. Jack

Only men would find dog fighting to the death entertaining.

Don't let the guy know that your Dad thinks his face looks like a baby's bottom.

Have the dog whisperer take care of showing the dog's teeth.

No one's ever carried me around like a monkey especially a girl. Booth

Mostly on my mind is that I hate everyone. Jack

Hate can be a coping skill.

My coping technique of hate? Jack

Sadly a dog that kills a person even when it isn't his fault gets put down.

Give the poor dog a burial.

Sometimes you just need to walk away.

People should take a lesson from dogs.

The Perfect Pieces In The Purple Pond

Sarcasm does not play well on the forensic platform. Cam

When you're decapitating it gets easier after the first chop.

No reading while driving even if you're an excellent driver.

So before the giant toddler was killed he was throwing coffee on the seashore? Cam

Some people are wicked literal.

Look I just want to know what kind of mojo disrupted Crazy Boy's pattern. Booth

Check the shoes for masturbatory aids.

Mud won't hurt you and it's good for the skin.

Jared was chopped into pieces and tossed away in an industrial pool. Brennan

Maybe Jared gave you that shiner

The Crank In The Shaft

The He In The She

The Skull In The Sculpture

The Con Man In The Meth Lab

The Passenger In The Oven

The Bone That Blew