Moonlight Dwelling

Pilot

Excuse me doesn't always work.

To get the guy's attention you may have to flash the girls.

Nothing says unromantic like being literally neck deep in a mass grave.

No one likes to be stalked so explain why you're following a person.

If in doubt kick his ass.

Mention being homeland security because attacking without a word can bruise your ego and other parts.

Held In Airport Reactions

1. Most people would sweat.

2. A person would be calm if they just came back from hobnobbing with the remains of genocide victims.

It's not assault when a man attacks you regardless of who he turns out to be when he fails to announce himself.

Look I'm sorry if I embarrassed you in front of your friends but next time you should identify yourself before attacking. Temperance

Let's grab your skull and let's vamoose. Booth

Cemeteries as a rule are full of decomposed corpses.

Don't knock a person for avoiding a description of the murder weapon and the murderer just because she got it from looking at the victim's autopsy xrays.

The agent that takes a squint out in the field is responsible.

Always have a baseball bat handy and ready to swing when someone breaks in.

You don't get paid for the smashed TV when you sneak in and try to get a booty call and decide to take off with the TV.

It's only a congratulations when the mission person is found alive.

Blackmail can be helpful when it works in your favor.

A clue is a clue regardless of how common it may be.

When dealing with breaking seriously bad news to parents who have lost their child that was murdered use a delicate touch.

A lie can be kinder especially when it involves how one's child was murdered.

You know getting information out of alive people is a lot different than getting information out of a pile of bones. You have to offer up something of yourself first. Booth

When asking someone a question make sure to say something personal in return.

I know but people are mostly soft. Angela

When two people give you the save advice you should take it.

Sometimes the best way is to keep quiet.

When time is limited go roust.

Using bizarre words doesn't help your case any.

Like it or not people carry around psychology.

Make sure to practice at the range to keep your shooting sharp.

Don't let a potential suspect slide because he's a senator or some other big wig.

A stalker asking for an autograph won't get one only a kicked ass if he starts talking.

When your book makes the New York Times Bestsellers list it's time to get an accountant.

Being a sniper I took a lot of lives what I'd like to do before I'm done is to try and catch at least that many murderers. Booth

The Man In The SUV

Pull over since it's a bad idea to drive angry.

Have ID just in case when on a crime scene.

Burnt flesh is not a pleasant smell.

Carry around a hair clip or a ponytail holder since it could come in handy.

His body was fragmented by the blast. We're still retrieving pieces. Temperance

We'll grab Booth. I think he likes you. God if I were you I'd buy a ticket on that ride. Angela

Then why don't I destroy my notes and let you guarantee the identity of the remains. Temperance

Some things are best done by riding it out like an earthquake.

A murder can be disguised to seem like a terrorist attack.

It's not Bureau policy to target or profile any ethnic group. Booth

Some details shouldn't be shared like body parts being seared to things.

If I can return more remains of her husband Muslim law requires that I do. Temperance

Affair Signs

1. Dyed hair

2. Lost weight

3 Shoved a little Botox in her head.

Not really a magician never wants to reveal her tricks. Angela

Some are made to feel like a cretin while others get an apology.

Someone has to intrude into lives.

She's been sleeping alone for months. She has enough pentup sexual energy to power a small midwestern city. Angela

Accepting reality is a way a person denies being angry.

Sometimes the only thing you want to talk about is dead bodies.

Accidentally on purpose drop your purse to check out the girlfriend.

Provide subtitles for those who don't know the jargon of people working with dead people.

Just come right out and ask it unless you want to get knocked on your ass and end up with a foot to your throat.

When someone dies the first suspect is the spouse. Booth

That eschews logic. Temperance

Bus schedules as a rule are totally confusing.

How the hell does he think he's bringing about a better world by blowing people up? Temperance

Ya know fanaticism and logic don't go hand in hand. Booth

Sure they're downstairs tying up the horses. Booth

When in doubt use sarcasm.

Don't take a target out unless you're sure.

When in doubt call out the person's name.

Focus on the lives saved by taking out the one who had no qualms of killing innocent bystanders.

A Boy In The Tree

Nothing excites things up like a murder investigation.

When in doubt throw yourself into your work.

I thought it was good to start with good morning. Temperance

Booth's Rules

1. Follow my lead.

2. Pay attention.

3. I do all the talking.

4. Be nice to the locals like remembering their names and such.

Scientists don't listen to their gut.

I don't like people who think they're better than other people. Booth

No disgusting corpse talk and photos while in a restaurant.

Hey bugs buzz but they do not lie. Hodgins

Running away can end up with you getting roughed up.

Knock the guy out first then check the ID.

Enjoyment is the opposite of suicide. Booth

Keep your mind open so you don't miss important indicators.

Ordering yourself can lead to repeating so stick with the expert.

Absolutely not sounds like a refusal. Temperance

Or ya could take my advice. If you don't answer my questions I'll take ya down to FBI headquarters in handcuffs. Booth

If you even try I'll take out my gun and shoot you between the eyes. Booth

You can't not accept a fact. Temperance

Reap the benefits of the sexual wisdom given to you.

Learn how to share.

The Man In The Bear

Just because you say it in that definitive tone doesn't mean it means anything to me. Booth

It wouldn't hurt to get out and live a little and connect with people.

Are you suggesting that I take this opportunity to have sex with Booth on a field trip? Temperance

Don't forget insect repellent when going to a place with mosquitoes the size of dogs.

Sometimes all you need to do is keep the receipts.

Objectively I'd say I'm very smart although it has nothing to do with my ass. Temperance

Sometimes the reason a person knows your name is because it's on your shirt.

When searching for people don't forget to check the bear crap.

It's not nice to boggart a person's package.

It's not that hard to track a wounded bear. Booth

Don't bother eating when involved in a discussion of cannibalism.

You actually thought I was excited about excrement. Hodgins

You need to make yourself perfectly clear.

When the hot chick tells the guy she'd like to eat him up he's way ahead of the guy with the tentative coffee.

Don't be afraid to loosen up.

It's not safe to drive and talk on the cell phone. Temperance

Don't forget to have a drink and have a little fun.

Sometimes everyone ends up pumping you.

When all else fails just zoom.

Eat your eggs before they get cold.

I did it to serve justice and capture a murderous cannibal. Hodgins

Just because the ranting is wacky doesn't mean it can't be kinda true.

Moments like this are why I need a gun. Temperance

Only use the gun for self defense.

Look you're nuts ok we get it. We don't need to hear the rambling psycho speech on why you did it. Booth

When a gun is out use a bed pan.

Are you kidding it's like watching The Clash Of The Horny Titans. Angela

I should just become a vegetarian. Booth

Or as an alternative just don't eat people. Temperance

A Man On Death Row

It's dumb to ask a person their name when you know it official request or not.

When in doubt sound it out.

If you're gonna deny the request don't bother going through filling out the application.

Use your mutant powers. Talk people to death. Booth

Wear the tiny skirt to get into the building you're banned from picture or not.

The jury sentences the accused to death not the arresting officer.

Some enjoy bug racing with bets while others enjoy sex.

The whole point of the week is the weekend. This is not the cabaret my friend. Life is the cabaret. Come to the cabaret. It's like describing the moon to a mole. Angela

Don't forget to say please when asking for a favor.

When you don't drive go with a driver.

Most people don't want to hear about maggots.

Don't talk so fast that human beings can't hear you.

Just because it looks like a phone number doesn't mean it is.

Some call it sex vibe while others call it tension.

Tying up loose ends can become more complicated.

When you wake a judge at one in the morning you'll have to deal with the open robe which might not be a pretty sight.

If you're not around dead bodies on a regular basis it's best to stay outside.

I think there are doubts. When it comes to an execution there shouldn't be any doubts. Booth

Ya think I won't pop you one just because we're standing in the Judge's kitchen. Booth

Lack of sleep can cause crankiness and lack of judgement.

There are some people that should be executed.

Don't cloud the issue.

Start digging when the thing starts beeping.

Expensive suit or not get digging.

Don't be afraid to take some time out for fun.

A Boy In The Bush

Even if you find it to be yawn worthy there's likely someone that finds it fascinating.

If your book sales are good you end up with a nice car.

When the remains are found possibly of a missing boy the FBI gets called in.

One dimensionality exists only in theory as a mathematical value. Hodgins

Anger is only fear turned inwards. Angela

Cracking jokes over murdered skeletons is not good times. Angela

If you can't always respect the law you can respect the one you're working with.

After saying something touching and beautiful don't be surprised if you get a hug.

The Man In The Wall

The dead aren't going anywhere so go out and have a little fun.

It's stimulating to be with people that are alive.

Don't be afraid to ask to make sure it's slang.

It's not a costume it's a cute outfit that you wear when going out to a club.

Stop dissecting and take part. Angela

Save shop talk for the lab.

What you're saying may not always communicate to others as it's meant.

When in doubt give him a kick.

Nothing spoils an evening out like finding a mummy.

A cloud of meth can cause your eyes to become as big as saucers.

It doesn't count when you're high by accident.

When in doubt do your googling.

Sure sometimes kids change for the worse but not always.

Don't go in too soon so the person doesn't run.

Buying the girlfriend jewelry may be too much for some.

Personalized can come in handy letting you know who to ask.

Always remember to ask what the sorry ass name is.

A guy gives you a diamond you aren't gonna return it when you break up.

The snippy one needs a vacation.

Give yoga a shot it might help.

The belly button thing makes some people nauseous.

It's not polite to not contact a person and explain yourself.

More than a nod is required when a murder investigation is going on.

When next you meet try to hit the guy if you can so you don't break his cover.

Where am I in Backwards World? Temperance

If the guy wants to be put in jail oblige him.

Jump doesn't always mean suicide since it can also mean leave.

You never know when you'll come across a clue like getting poked.

The Girl In The Fridge

Bump fists together when you've succeeded at something.

At least expect civility.

Just because your teacher slept with her teacher doesn't mean you'll get any.

It's your cue to leave when a mostly decayed body is about to be revealed.

Some person's fun is another's barf moment.

Don't eat soup for dinner after seeing a decomposed body in a fridge.

Save your dirty talk for the professor. Angela

Some people share a love for science.

When in doubt talk about human goop.

Some things are not meant to be shared.

Some things are best left unsaid.

Some things can't be erased from the body.

Take every opportunity to poke around for a possible clue.

If this were the result of sex games the legs they wouldn't be bound together. Well come on ya know looking for a little nookie last thing you'd tie together are the legs. Booth

When someone wants to punch fists do it instead of just looking like an idiot.

It's not always so good to share your work.

It's not nice to spy on a person.

Jury Consultant Witness Tips

1. Try not interrupting it makes you sound arrogant.

2. Also don't front load your testimony with technical crap.

3. Wear something blue it suggests truth.

4. Make eye contact with the jury.

5. And lose the clunky necklace.

If you want to be helpful to someone lose the bitch tude and the trashing opinions.

When testifying talk in words the average person understands so avoid the scientific terms.

Ironically a people person can be rude.

No harm done if you didn't bump into the guy holding the cup of coffee.

Don't slam a person while on the stand.

Just tell the idiot to go to hell.

Tell the truth without flinching.

It if was brought up during the testimony of another witness go for it in order to make your witness really heard.

Don't forget to use lay terms because not everyone knows them only those in the same line of work.

The Man In The Fallout Shelter

Dress as an elf to get into the holiday zone.

Better able to withstand peer pressure when you can't catch me. Temperance

Friends don't let friends photocopy their butt at company Christmas parties. Angela

Some just aren't into the whole Secret Santa thing but rearrange it a little to get Secret Satan.

It's not last minute shopping until the 24th.

Firefly is a damn fine show to be enjoyed.

Don't panic until you know what's going on.

Okay ya know what if this is fatal I will shoot both of you. Booth

Shiny stuff is pretty.

Just enjoy the tiny lights dancing on the ceiling.

Go with vague like to be more Christmassier.

Christmas Duties

1. It's totally up to the girls.

2. Decorate

3. Make your own Secret Santa.

4. Solve a murder.

Christmas is the perfect time to examine your standing with you know. Booth

Oh right right you you can't measure the man upstairs in a beaker so he can't possibly exist. Booth

Sometimes it's a simple as writing your name on a slip of paper and putting it in a container when doing Secret Santa.

Gift giving is a way of asserting dominance in a group.

Be extremely creative when making a gift.

Nothing says festive like stringing a bunch of test tubes together and filling them up with luminescent light.

Well nothing brings people together like a Christmas Lung Fungus. Booth

Sometimes a sneeze is just a sneeze.

Although I believe organized religion is just another political movement designed to control the masses doesn't mean God doesn't love me. Hodgins

Sometimes you need to think before you speak out of consideration for someone.

Give the person answers instead of being left in the dark.

Do all you can do to find the person to give them closure.

Say Merry Christmas before asking about the person you're trying to track down.

There's always more to learn. Temperance

Just admire the beautiful without the details.

Nothing says cool gift like a robot.

Accept a gift with a little grace.

Is that green as in go or stick a needle in your brain. Booth

The Woman At The Airport

A fresh body is a little bit more urgent than the one from the Iron Age.

It's okay to do a little blackmailing to get your chance to drive.

Ignorance can be bliss so stay with it.

Body parts are removed from the crime scene when they are visible to incoming flights.

Peeling flesh from a skull can send a person out of the room which is perfectly understandable because of the heavy Ewww factor.

When in LA go to the Sky Bar and tell your best friend all when you get back home.

Don't knock Lord Of The Rings since it's awesome.

There's a Black Market for pretty much anything which includes breast implants.

Follow the only lead you got even if it's not likely to go anywhere because you never know.

Excessive plastic surgery doesn't yield beautiful results like in the cases of Michael Jackson and Joan Rivers who look kinda alien.

When in doubt look it up.

Save the ranting about the evils of plastic surgery for later instead of doing it in the very quiet waiting room.

No one knows what a producer does but it's an important job.

Ya touch her she'll break your arm. Booth

Tell the doctor if you think he's barbaric.

Booth we like your face just the way it is too.

Don't be a little edgy and tart with the person who's trying to tell you the truth.

Always get a business card just in case.

Science is no country for storytellers baby. Hodgins

It's polite to ask before you use a person's cell.

When in doubt order a prostitute.

Let the hooker know that you're FBI and just want to talk.

It she thinks you're role playing whip out the badge.

Hookers see things they shouldn't about powerful people.

Put the annoying security guard in his place

Enjoy the view and pretend you belong.

Hookers are people too ya know.

This is a proud and noble job but you're using it to get to something else. My advice write your script, get an agent. Hell have a little plastic surgery but quit using my Federal Bureau of Investigation as a stepping stone into something that you think is better because in my book there is nothing better. Booth

Ya gotta admire someone with passion.

I'd say anyone who plays this stupid game is capable of murder. Booth

When being polite doesn't work just grab the ball and toss it.

Just turn and walk away before things get ugly.

What do ya do huh pay him in hair plugs? Booth

Some say mean while others say critical in regards to a person's process.

It's always good to arrest the bad guys.

Bring a search warrant so you can get right to business.

It's good to butt heads with someone instead of being agreeable all the time.

The Woman In The Car

Smile when you're on a talk show.

Some people just don't want to have kids.

The first 48 hours after a kidnapping are crucial.

One man's security review is another man's witch hunt. Hodgins

Try a funny story when doing a TV interview.

Why because most kidnappings happen by estranged spouses. Booth

Peek in the window to see if anyone's inside.

Forensic anthropologist that's why no gun. Temperance

When guns are pulled yell out your job descriptions.

A person has the right to know that his wife has been killed and his son kidnapped.

Talk to the families that aren't under federal protection.

When billions are involved don't put anything past a corporation that wants to keep their ass out of the fire.

Assume the kidnapped kid is still alive to give yourself something to look forward to instead of dread.

Watch out for those fire dances in Fiji because you just might find yourself married.

No need for an attitude after all each person does their part.

You can't bite off your own ear.

A guy's security clearance isn't affected by his bad rug.

It's insulting when some stranger knows a lot about you.

Confidential or not creepy is creepy.

As hard as it may be for some people to believe it is possible to do two things at once.

Being put on the hot list doesn't do a person's career any good.

I was hoping you'd turn out to be gay. And only have one ear. Booth

Intelligence doesn't determine what you do so much as how effectively you do it. Temperance

Sometimes you need to come into someone's personal space.

Groaning is a sign that the person's alive.

When you've failed in your plan you have to adapt.

A smart nut is always interesting and never dull.

Don't do with the died in vain speech when you messed up big time.

It's quite an accomplishment when you go from genius to idiot in three seconds.

When in doubt go with the rural since isolation is best when doing evil.

Make sure you have bullet proof vests in the trunk.

Sometimes it's best to hang back.

Yes even a Dad cries when he's happy.

The Superhero In The Alley

The charm smile doesn't always work.

It's pretty retro for a geek to write longhand with a pen.

When the FBI turns up it means the person was murdered.

When the FBI asks for your name give the one your parents gave you.

Some people just give you the creeps.

A writer reveals more of themselves than they intend to.

Hey who wouldn't want to have sex with that hot FBI guy.

It's okay for an intelligent person to fantasize.

Embrace your weirdness.

Dig deeper to find the subtext when reading a comic book.

When in doubt go bowling.

Sometimes you tell a person something to make them feel better.

Lying about your relationship to the murder victim can win you the honor of being the prime suspect.

Come right out and ask the person how they hurt themselves.

I'll see you in the comic books Buster. Brennan

Always make sure to be alert since you might fight a clue right in front of you.

Panic may cause a person to lock the door.

When in doubt when the lights are on suspect a robbery.

Nothing says hateable like a wife beater who kills a dying kid.

You can't excuse a husband that beats you regardless of the frequency or infrequency of it.

The Woman In The Garden

Make an effort to reestablish your connection with those you work with.

Nothing says annoying like being ignored in two languages.

If the suspect won't stop shoot him in the leg.

A guy gets a little cranky after being shot at along with his partner and the bad guy gets away.

Don't underestimate the whole in your face starey thing.

A drive by where no one gets shot is just a clever ploy to help the captured guy to escape.

Even the bad guys can be quite clever.

When you don't have a mask use your tie so you don't breathe in bone dust.

Remember sarcasm is never helpful but for some it just seems to come as natural as breathing.

Calling shotgun doesn't always work since you might still find yourself sitting in the backseat.

Look for pieces of a puzzle to get your answers.

Just because a person is an Anti socialist doesn't make them Pro Death Squad.

It's not every day you find a dead body in your garden.

Hiding from Death Squads people learn to build false walls. Brennan

Someone that isn't a cop can get mooshy in certain circumstances.

Fear can cause a person to clam up even if a family member was murdered.

Nothing's more nauseating than a gang leader hitting on your because he thinks you think too much.

Put the so called bad ass in his place by kicking his ass.

A girl always feels better after beating up a total scumbag.

A friend speaks up when she's worried about you.

On my last trip to El Salvador. I was set up in a tent by one of the grave sites. I was working with the remains of a young girl maybe thirteen. She'd been shot in the head and dumped into a well. This cop shows up and he might have been a soldier it's not easy to tell. I thought he was there to guard me but he told me to stop. When I refused he called in two others. They put a bag over my head and tossed me into a cell with dirt floor and no windows. Later I found out it was three days but I thought it was a woek or maybe more. He came in every day and made me believe I was going to die. He said that he'd shoot me and toss me into a well and that no one would ever know who I was or what became of me. I promised myself if I ever had the chance I'd get even. Brennan

It's best to tell the truth to the FBI.

To get the lawyer to shut up mention the press.

When in doubt try thinking outside the box.

Like it or not psychology is a very powerful force.

The Man On The Fairway

Forbidding something is just too tempting to resist.

Letting the guy you ignore believe it's a bonding ritual is nicer than shooting him.

When there's no evidence of foul play the investigation is shelved.

Sometimes you need to be pushy in order to have someone pay attention.

Evidence of foul play can be all the motivation a person needs to jump in.

When in doubt go with droll.

Ya know blades move in several distinctive ways.
Subtle Psychological Indicators Of Guilt

1. Body language

2. Sweat

3. Tonal quality

4. Shifty eyes

Some find it harder than others to get over the loss of a loved one. Brennan

Make sure to have someone be lookout when you're doing something you're not supposed to be doing so you don't get caught.

Leaving things out of your story casts a suspiciousness about you.

Each person goes a separate way when the person takes off out the back door instead of answering the front door.

Grab him by the neck and knock him down shoving your foot against his throat.

Try to resist the urge to kick as tempting as it may be once the pursuit is over.

Nothing draws a crowd like feeding a frozen pig into a wood chipper.

There's no solider alibi than being in jail.

The simplest theory usually turns out to be true is not always true.

No Bones all I'm saying we get into these things we look into murders we can't let our heart strings get all plucked okay. We got to poke into peoples wounds, we gotta make them bleed a little. We gotta make them tell us things they normally wouldn't tell us. Booth

The person is talking to you when the person's eyes are looking at you and their mouth is aimed in your direction.

Look for a large freezer in the house of a suspect when the victim was frozen before dismemberment and sent through a wood chipper.

Two Bodies In The Lab

When meeting someone you met online make sure to do it in a public place just in case.

Google the person you met online before scheduling dinner with them.

You just can't mess with the classics like cement shoes.

The game playing comes later if it works out.

Nothing says lucky like the guy that gets to examine the excrement.

Most people don't get to often say, "I'm doing the fecal flotation now."

After an attempt on your life have yourself a drink or a dozen.

A person can get a bit cranky after an attempt on their life.

Fine logic suggests that the shooter is involved in one of these cases so I should find out who killed them before he tries to shoot me again. Temperance

Yes even your date can become a suspect when an attempt was made on your life.

Sometimes a picture just doesn't do a person justice.

And Hodgins is playing with dog poop so everyones got something to do. Booth

Serial killers they follow a pattern. They don't bind and torture and then start picking people off with a high powered rifle. James

Some people just exude creepiness.

Nothing says I'm a psycho like having a gagillion keys.

When in doubt try a little fishing.

You need to stay in the hospital after getting blown up.

A person's Xrays can be quite revealing.

Don't touch the pudding when you go to visit someone at the hospital.

Ask before you start eating.

Ya gotta love the one person that says you're right instead of the usual you're crazy.

If you were blown up earlier in the day you must wear a bullet proof vest.

Apologizing before you kill someone doesn't make you less of a psycho.

Reschedule the date when your head still hurts and stay in and watch some TV.

The Woman In The Tunnel

Sometimes you just need to stop the chatter.

Trust should be developed when you've been working with someone for months.

Ya know you do know I have to file a report with the review board each time I discharge a round from my weapon. Booth

To stop the rats from eating the human remains shoot some to give them a new meal.

It's not the best idea to go running after guys in the dark.

Kinda creepy when some guy can get around in the dark without a light.

Don't share the details of a victim's death with a potential suspect.

Treat the guy with some respect even if he lives in a cardboard box.

Being an observer doesn't include running after a possible murderer.

Take out the enemy so more people don't get hurt.

Sometimes all it takes is once.

Like it or not you need to face your demons.

Some people appreciate you being straight with you by mentioning the M word.

I don't know how to talk to crazy people unless I'm dating them. Angela

When in doubt just be honest and respectful.

You just blunder around in a dark labyrinth. In some situations a girl really needs a gun.

Some are annoyed when you say Tick Tock instead of Tach Team.

It's not for shooting rats it's for psychos with climbing axes. Booth

It's better to catch the bad guys stealing instead of waiting for Tick Tock to find you.

When you both have guns each of you take a side.

Wondering whether or not to shoot you shoot. Booth

Make sure the safety's on when putting a gun in a guy's pocket.

Make sure to incapacitate the bad guy before you start asking questions.

Kyle hit the Duke with the candlestick in the crypt. Booth

Some things sound amusing.

The Skull In The Desert

Make sure to take precautions against the sun especially when in the desert.

Some morgues are smaller than others like a skull locked up in a box.

A skull especially one that was gnawed on by animals isn't gonna look like anyone really.

Sometimes a hug is just meant to be a comfort to a friend that's upset.

Call in your pal the FBI agent when you need someone to get Federal on someone's ass.

Let the guy eat his donut as long as he keeps his eyes closed while you get dressed.

It's not nice to point a gun at someone that's knocking on your door especially when one of them's a federal agent.

As a rule a trailer doesn't have a back door.

Peyote is only legal if you're a member of the Native American Church. Booth

Questions have to be asked even if they involve someone you care about.

You contact the right person and you can locate a coyote with a wonky jaw in the desert.

Don't forget to bring water when you're in the desert.

You can't trust your eyes alone when you're in the desert.

Ya know Kirk said if you stood still long enough that the desert would actually speak to you, show you some kind of truth. Angela

Answers could be found in pictures taken right before a murder.

Every hour counts when someone's missing in the desert.

When in doubt look for something that doesn't fit.

Take pictures just in case you've stumbled onto a clue.

Cell phones are useless in the desert.

You can survive three days max in the desert.

Think before you speak especially when you're talking about a friend's murdered loved one.

When the tracks just stop in the desert you're at a landing strip.

Don't forget the hood in a search for blood since it's possible for a killer to tie a dead body there like a dead elk.

Speak up when something isn't your fault instead of taking the blame.

Larry did you tell Wayne about how when someone dies during the commission of a felony everyone involved in that felony is charged with murder. Ben

Counterfeiting is a felony. Booth

Some felonies are better than others like getting busted for counterfeiting instead of also getting charged with murder.

The so called spies could actually be people in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Sometimes you need to be harsh for a person's own good.

Because nothing in this universe just happens just once Angela nothing. Infinity goes in both directors. There is no unique event, no singular moment. It means you'll get another chance. Temperance

Obviously it's always the most rational explanation.

The Man With The Bone

Every death on federal land has to be investigated.

A crushed larynx is as a rule not something that happens by accident.

Yeah I figured any competent medical examiner would know not to compromise evidence. Temperance

The one with the badge gets to announce they're FBI.

Pirates do exist.

Oh ya know we need you to do your dirt thing ya know match the slime with the crime. Booth

It's not every day you see a mayor dressed up as a pirate unless you happen to be in the right place.

A murder scene is not a show so no pictures allowed.

A pirate's gotta have his pirate queen.

Listen ya just tell the tourists the bad view is part of the curse. Will you escort the pirate and his wench behind the yellow tape. Booth

Calming Down Tips

1. Focus on your breathing.

2. Count to ten.

3. Have a shot of Jack.

Try to look on the bright side of things.

A killer as a rule isn't too friendly.

The way you talk about a person can reveal your feelings about them.

As a rule a guy's gonna look better alive than dead.

That's not music it's bagpipes. Booth

When the suspect turns up dead you just might need to be looking for someone else.

A crushed larynx is fatal ergo it results in death. Harry

A crushed larynx stops the person from screaming.

A guy doesn't want to take a woman to court for slapping him.

A located treasure doesn't mean it's gonna give it up that easily especially when there's a curse involved.

The Man In The Morgue

Some girls are just turned off by coffins.

It's not of the norm for people to be to be inflamed by the proximity of death.

It's never good when you wake up in a bathroom covered in blood and it's a day later.

Well usually dead people are pretty much silent on their own. Booth

Expect smells when walking into a Voodoo shop since you'll encounter some very interesting things.

Don't take a vacation in a morgue even if it's a different morgue.

Hey Bones how's about while you're a murder suspect you act more like a normal woman and less like Lily Munster okay. Booth

Sometimes a person should look for things that aren't there instead of things that are there. Zack

Even the brilliant can sometimes be fools.

An attacker that was already stabbed wouldn't be able to break a person's wrist.

In New Orleans a lawyer can work with a mojo bag that was used to cast a forgetting spell.

There can be more to a guy than bugs, slime, and dirt.

Not cooperating is one things Bones okay concealing a double homicide we might as well give them an excuse to hang us. Booth

All right my advice cuff Mr Wizard here before he puts a spell on ya. Booth

When the dude starts chanting to maybe put a curse on you just take your finger and poke him in the eye.

I've arrested very few people who are scary once they've been poked in the eye. Temperance

Dark sorcerers suck.

The Graft In The Girl

When the Deputy Director of the FBI wants to meet you he gets to choose the locale.

Try to keep the bickering down when you're in the adolescent wing of the hospital.

Take it as a compliment to be considered a member of the Geek Squad.

Try to tune the person out who goes off on a number is off tangent.

You don't say no when a so cute guy asks you out say yes.

Don't read while driving to avoid becoming organ doners yourself.

Some people cremate because it's cheaper while others have something to hide.

Try to put on your sad face at a funeral even though you find death intriguing.

Flash your badge in a subtle way to avoid causing a scene at a funeral.

The bereaved aren't always confused.

Don't forget to bring the dogs along with the gun toting agents when needing to collect ashes from a reluctance and pissy widow.

When in doubt it's the mortician.

A casket show room is like a sick department store.

Watch the scuff marks when standing on a $2000 casket.

It's kicker not kickster.

The Soldier On The Grave

All societies build monuments for their dead to convince future combatants that it's an honor to die in battle. Temperance

You need a nap if you take the bait from the conspiracy nut.

When the presumed suicide turns out to be murder keep some edge by letting the guy think he got away with it.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions but don't try to foist them onto others.

Guessing a girl's weight can lead to you losing a tooth.

Try shutting up once in a while to hear what other people have to say.

You have to think before you speak. Angela

Yeah men aren't like us. They're much more fragile and needy. The fact that they think we're the needy ones is a testament to our superiority. Angela

You have to wonder at an autopsy report that could have been done better with a Crayola.

Keep it zipped unless you want to walk funny for a week.

It's very rude to go up and slap a person when you don't even know what's going on.

Don't yell so loud that people go deaf.

When everyone gives the same words to describe the shot fired means they're totally lying.

Just be there when a friend is having a tough time.

People can sometimes surprise you.

The Woman In Limbo

Don't read from a photocopy in court to avoid having the defense lawyer tell the jury you're winging it.

All right her height makes no sense and her spine is wacky. Angela

I don't think you should talk so much about cases on court day you might get confused. Booth

Don't jokey advice on court day when the person in question is very literal.

It's still bad news even when you knew the person was probably dead.

The best way to assume a new identity is to pick one that was born the same year as you.

Cops and crooks recognize cops.

The truth isn't always something you want to hear.

Zack if this guy moves shoot him with a tranquilizer dart or something. Booth

Once you get the how it's time to figure out the who.

When the person never picks up the phone take a hint and don't bother calling again.

Take your opportunity to slap the person you've been wanting to for years.

It's not every day you find out that your parents were bank robbers who later assumed new identities.

Hate is a lot easier to deal with than love especially disappointed love.

The story remains a mystery when you don't know it yet.

Playing handball can pay off.

As a rule most pig farmers don't carry three concealed guns.

A spouse cheating and caught screams a serious motive for murder which is a good story to tell for a person that lies like a person taking a drink of water.

Some people need to at least have their day ruined if a theory doesn't pan out.

One phone call on a person's birthday each year isn't really trying when you claim to be the one that didn't turn your back on your sister.

Bring the bad guy while you're searching for the murder weapon so you'll known you're getting close when he gets nervous.

Do not listen to an assassin that wants to bargain 'cause lying is like breathing to him.

Some people need things explained to them.